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September 29, 2010

On Blogging

I love that I stumbled upon this webosphere of blogging. It happened while I was pregnant and searching youtube for labor and delivery videos. I found videos of moms who Vlogged (video logging) and I thought…I wish I could share my thoughts and memories like them. But I knew the world of vlogging was not for me. For one, I hate having my picture/video taken unless I look really good…I don’t ever look really good unless I put the effort into prettying myself up…And I hardly ever bother to do that unless we are going out someplace nice or to someone’s house for dinner. All in all…I would be way too lazy to fix myself up…record…upload…edit…upload to youtube…there would be like 4 videos in a year and that would be stupid. And then one of the moms (name is Kourtney…kyleandcourt on youtube) mentioned she had a Blog. I was like …hmmm…I know what that is…but I don’t really know what that is. So I checked it out and it was basically the written version (more or less) of the youtube videos she was posting. Yes!! Finally, something I would lovvveeeee to do. I love to write…even if it’s something pointless or dumb or not well though-out…writing has always been the PERFECT way for me to express myself. I’m not much of a talker…I would rather listen (worked out with Sunvi because he loves to talk). Its difficult for me to open up to people face to face because then I watch their expressions as I talk and it turns out to be a distraction. Writing out my thoughts and feelings helped me deal with and grieve the loss of my father. A year after he passed away, I was still grieving, still hurting. There was noone I could really talk to about how much it hurt, especially my mom or sisters because I knew that would lead to just everyone crying (However, I see now how talking to your family, sharing and crying together might have been a good thing). The following semester I took a 4th year/graduate level course at university called Exploration of Death and Dying. It’s not a popular course for undergrads but I wanted to find some way to understand my loss. The first day, I was very unsure of whether I had made the right decision to take the course…most of the students were UofO med students, some were doing their phd. However, I ended up having more insight and more to share than the rest of them. I finished the semester feeling like the pain and grief that was weighing on my chest had been lightened. I was able to share everything through the 2 assignments we had to write each week. In every writing assignment, I was able to find a way to let a little bit of my sorrow seep out of my heart and on to the paper.

So when I write, there are no distractions…just me and my thoughts. And if someone wants to read it they can, and if they don’t they don’t. Around the 5th month of my pregnancy, I decided to start a blog…and I did end up writing my first intro post…4 months later :p I am a procrastinator…I can’t remember the last time I did an assignment or project before it was almost due. My first blog post was just before I was due with Arissa. Haha …When I suddenly think of a topic I want to write about or something happens and I want to share it or when I feel really strongly about something and need to express those feelings…I turn to my blog. I used to jot topics of ideas for posts down in a little notepad, however I lost that a few days ago L I think I still have pregnancy brain because I have the most terrible memory. I always had an excellent memory until I got pregnant! Anyways, now I am writing down my ideas in a draft in the blog so they are never lost. This blogging experience has been great so far. Parenting has its challenges, and through this blog if I can share my insights or experiences to help someone, I would feel great. I hope I can keep this blog real...writing about all the good stuff (you know the cute stuff everyone likes to read) but also writing about stuff that really matters to me. I want to continue to document the joys and adventures in our lives ...for a long long time. If you want to go along with me for someway...I thank you :)


Anne said...

Hey, thanks for the visit!! Your baby is absolutly BEAUTIFUL. I'm glad blogging has been a good venting spot for you - and it's great to read 'cause we can identify with your thoughts! Keep on bloggin'!

Antara said...

Thanks Anne!

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