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January 5, 2011


Most people make them at some point at the end or the beginning of a new year. I think it's a productive thing to do....even if you don't end up doing all the things on your list of resolutions, you at least KNOW what you want to/need to do; At least you'll have a mental check list of the goals you want to achieve and that's good...evaluating yourself, your activities and your year. Common New Year's resolutions always include: be healthy/lose weight, or work harder/study harder, find a new hobby/dedicate time to an old one (ehem...haven't taken many photographs in the last month :( or written ANY blog posts :s) My resolutions obviously include two of these, however, this year I wanted to do a  more in-depth look at how I want to change better myself.

So, besides the obvious-every-year resolutions listed are my new ones:

Patience - Oh! I need to somehow find an abundance of it! One of my flaws is the I have a terribly short temper and very very little patience alongside. I'm not talking waiting in line kind of patience; I can wait in line just fine (think crazy lines at amusement parks :)). I'm talking about patience at home, with the people I love. Once I lose my patience, all hell breaks loose. And most times its my sisters and my husband who have to suffer through it. And once I've calmed down, I hate myself for being so short with them, or for yelling or saying mean things. I hate that feeling.
I haven't yet done anything like that with Arissa, but only because I know she doesn't understand what I'm angry about or why (and also because her adorable innocent face makes it impossible for me to get frustrated with her). However, she is growing up...soon she will be a toddler and she'll be doing even crazier things that will stress me out...I know it and therefore it is absolutely imperative that I learn to be patient when dealing with frustrating situations and that I learn to keep my cool when I feel my temper reaching it's boiling point. I will prove my sisters and husband wrong and NOT be the mother who is always yelling at her kids or the mother who spanks her children...never never never!
*If anyone other than my family tries my patience...don't think you will get the same treatment...You WILL see THAT side of me* :P

Organization - How is it that a tidy, clean, organized, everything-has-a-place-and-everything-in-its-place kind of person like me...almost always has a messy space or a cluttered desk? Whenever I clean my room, I clean EVERYTHING. And I always have a place for everything..sometimes even labeled...I do this to keep my mind and my space organized and manageable. But somehow...within the next 2 days, EVERYTHING goes back to being thrown across the floor or heaped up on the corner of the bed or piled onto the desk. Its so disheartening when you walk into your room and can't recognize that it was spotless not even 2 days ago. I've been thinking about why it is that an 'inwardly organized' person like me can't keep her stuff organized too. Its been like this for me every since my father passed away...before that I don't remember a day where my room made me feel dizzy or suffocated. I realized now that it's because of my father.
My father was a (as mentioned above) 'tidy, clean, organized, everything-has-a-place-and-everything-in-its-place kind of person'...I guess I get that from him. The only difference is he spent time EVERYDAY making our home that way, including my room. He even vacuumed everyday after coming back from work! The reason I never got into the habit of cleaning and tidying is because my father never gave me a chance to. I would come home from school, take of my clothes and go grab a snack or watch some TV. My father would come home and sometimes ask me to put my stuff away and I would always say "later" most kids would. By the time I went back into my room, or even contemplated cleaning up my room before it was time for homework, all my clothes would be folded and put back into their designated drawers, my school bag would be cleaned out and all my homework would be neatly stacked onto my desk (and they would later be neatly packed into my bag before I woke up the next morning). I know he did it out of love (so so much love), but now that I have a family and will one day have my own home to look after, I wish he had taught me that I needed to learn to do these things on my own...I had been so subconsciously dependent on him to do everything for me that once he was gone, everything became so excruciatingly difficult for me to keep up with.
Anyways, now that I realize the root of this problem...I plan to make an effort to start tidying. Doing a little bit everyday until it becomes a habit and I no longer have to push myself to do it. And I love when my home, room, space is brain feels like its been decluttered; I can breathe better, think better and sleep better!

Positive Living - this really doesn't require an explanation...everyone should strive to live with positivity, to love with positivity, and parents should strive to parent with positivity. Ignorance may be bliss...but don't be ignorant when it comes to how you lead your life or how you raise your children. Be informed, make good choices and find happiness in the littlest things in life (if you have a child...this should be the easiest thing for you to do everyday right?).
Life has not always been peachy for me...I had once allowed myself be surrounded by sorrow and hopelessness...and if I can offer some advice from my own experiences (I'm NOT being hypocritical!)...if you want to be happy...stop complaining about the smallest, most insignificant, you-won't-care-in-a-year kind of things in life and focus on the good ones! I try that everyday...some days I still fail...but most days I am happy...very happy :) and in 2011 I will work to keeping this positive attitude and making myself and my husband and child even happier.
Hmmmmm...maybe there will be one year..someday in the future...where I only have one new years resolution on my list! Wow, wouldn't that be a wonderful place to be in in your life?

Anyways here's to hoping 2011 is even better than 2010 was...for everyone!

My little cub trying to climb out of a box :)...Look at the determination on her face!

1 comment:

Yusra K said...

omg i love that picture, SOO CUTE!
and i love your resolutions, i know you can do it! :)

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